Day +11…the final dose :)

All of our prayers were answered this morning as I was able to take my fourth and final dose of the medicine that will aid in the ingrafting process.  Praise the Lord!  To Him be all glory!

It has been a big day.  Keli took the girls to the airport this morning as they will be spending the next two weeks in Oklahoma with their grandparents.  It is a special time because their cousin, Brittany, gets married this weekend.  Fortunately, Walt and Linda were on the same flight as the girls, so that was nice for them to be accompanied by their grandparents.  I am so thankful to Walt and Linda for spending the last few weeks here to take care of the girls.

I have a small mouth sore under my tongue, so I feel like I am talking funny and it hurts a little when I do speak.  A pain pill this afternoon did help with that, however, so I took another one tonight.  Yes, I am currently blogging on drugs.  But, i don’t think I am writing anything too stupid.

The ingrafting should actually start in the next few days.  We will now be looking for rashes and other signs of ingrafting.  It is important that I have some GVHD (graft versus host disease).  Please pray that I will have just the right amount and that I do not become real sick in the coming days.  We continue to trust in the Lord day-by-day, so our trust is no different than before.  I just wanted to let you know what the coming days hold.

Keli and I are so ready to go home. DUH!  :)  It has been a good hospital stay, but our thoughts are of being home and in our own surroundings.  I am glad the girls will be with family the next couple weeks.  If nothing else, it will be a good distraction of being out of town during spring break.

I continue to covet your prayers.  The Lord is answering them daily and I give Him all the glory for where I am in my health journey.  The two key words that always come to mind are “hope” and “trust.”  They are both in our Father and He is extending His grace in so many ways.

Blessings,

Sam

Day +10…Sunday afternoon

It is a beautiful Sunday afternoon in Nashville.  The day has gone pretty fast, especially since Keli is working.  I have already walked two miles and am using my salt and soda rinse about once an hour.  Pray that my mouth will stay healthy for the next 24 hours so I can take a final dose of medicine that helps in the healing process.  My mouth is pretty sensitive right now, so that is why I am doing frequent rinsings.

My counts are bottomed out and have been for the last three days.  I am receiving two units of blood today because my hemoglobin count went down.  Every day is still a new day and I am hoping that my counts start going up soon.

Mom said that the church service was wonderful today.  I can’t wait to be back in church and worshiping with my church family.  The absence from church has been one of the hardest things about being sick.  I am thankful for such a wonderful community of believers.

I don’t really have much to share today.  Right now it is just a matter of time before counts start going up and I start feeling better.  I am ready for that to happen.  :)

Blessings,

Sam

Pictures for you to enjoy

Keli showed me the pictures tonight of the stem cell transplant. I thought you may enjoy seeing the three steps: 1. The bag of stem cells arriving in the room (I received a total of three bags). 2. Kate actually putting the stem cells in by the use of a big syringe. 3. Sam medicated after the transplant.  :)

I should have put these on earlier, but I forgot Keli took any pictures.

Enjoy!

Sam

Day +8…a beautiful day

It is a gorgeous day in Nashville. The sun is shining bright and the skies are dark blue. Keli left a little while ago to go with her parents to the Lawn and Garden show. That is something Keli and I have enjoyed many times over the last 19 years. I think she is going to take some pictures, so maybe I will see what she would like for me to do in the yard summer 2011. This is a year of no yard work, but that too shall pass. Landscaping is one of my favorite hobbies, so it will difficult to sit back and not do anything this spring and summer. I will enjoy watching the trees bud and all the plants put on new growth.

What a wonderful time to have a new beginning…spring. Spring demonstrates to me that for a season nature has taken a break. Plants have deepened their roots. Some animals hibernate. People have stayed inside during the winter months. But…spring…spring brings out the flowers and leaves. It awakens the sleeping animals. It is a time of new beginnings all caught up in the cycle of life.

I have had a winter season for sure. But…spring has come in my own life and I am experiencing a rejuvenated approach to life. I have deepened my roots in Christ as I have truly become utterly dependent on him in action and not just words. I have deepened my roots in my own understanding of who I am and what I am called to do…to serve others for the glory of God. I have come to realize how temporary this thing is that we call life. I am learning to live life to its fullest everyday. That means not just when I am doing something I enjoy like golfing, fishing, or landscaping. The changes I am seeing in myself are a deepening in the awareness that in everything we do and say, we do it for the glory of God. I love this new perspective. Okay, I know many of you came to this realization years ago, but it is new for me. There is a settling of my emotional spirit that takes place when I look at everything as being fresh and new. Every single day then becomes a day of new opportunities and not a day of drudgery (as it might relate for some in going to work or looking at life as mundane).

Some of you might read this and think, “he’s been in the hospital too long and things will be different when he is back to normal.” I pray that is not the case. To believe in the transforming power of the Spirit of God is to understand that as He lights our way and teaches us new things, we in turn change our behavior and actions to reflect the lessons He has taught us. I believe in transformation and I embrace what the Father is doing in my life. As an example, when I view life in this manner, it is very difficult to get upset at people for the trivial things that might irritate us. In other words, transformation into Christlikeness is a calming of the soul and I believe a tolerance to those who have not yet seen the light. That is not to be a judgmental statement nor am I being pious, but one that simply speaks to the heart to know that everyone is on a journey with the Lord. Some reject Him and choose their own paths. Some accept Him and are at different markers along their own journey. Okay, I am sounding more like a preacher. Maybe Steve’s DNA is kicking in. All I know is that we should love one another as Christ loves us. Amen.

I trust you will have a great weekend. I hope you are able to enjoy time with your family and friends and that you truly have a sabbath this weekend. Thank you for your continued prayers. God is not manipulated by anything we can say or do, but I know He is hearing your prayers for me and is answering them in powerful ways. Pray that I will not get any mouth sores before Monday. My mouth is a little tender and I am taking all precautions to avoid getting mouth sores. Monday will be day 11 and the final dose of one of the medicines my doctor desires that I take. I have had 3 doses, but it will be beneficial for recovery for me to have the fourth and final on Monday.

Blessings,
Sam

Day +7…what a life…what a wife!

I just finished reading Keli’s post from yesterday and was reminded once again how much I love this woman. She is a rock to me when I feel like everything is chaos. The Lord uses her daily to encourage me and inspire me to remain positive and optimistic. I just had to start this post by saying “I love you” to the dearest person in my life…Keli. By the way, it’s not fair when your wife makes you cry when you are just trying to read a blog.

It was time to change the theme of the blog site. Welcome to the new and improved look. I like the symbolism of the color palette. I hope you do, too.

Today has been a good day. Actually, this week has been a good week. Besides some stomach issues, I have felt great. I think Steve’s stem cells are energizing me. Thank you, big brother! I have done productive work as well as getting in my walking and all the things the doctor would have me do while in the hospital. I saw Dr. Berdeja when I was walking my second mile this afternoon. I let him know that I am ready to get out of this place and do my walking at home. I think he liked that.

Keli is working today, so I have been alone, except when mom came and visited and brought me lunch. See, mothers can still spoil their babies. I always enjoy my time with mom. She is such a godly woman and loves her boys and family so much. She is a great role model for me as a parent.

Well, my laps have consisted of listening to Christian contemporary music. I am not sure if the nurses ever see my crying on my walk, but I tell you, I have some wonderful moments with our Savior. I told Pastor Howard about a song that I heard on Monday before the church staff came to visit me. That same song was the second song I listened to today. It is a Chris Tomlin song, “Famous One,” I am already anticipating the Hermitage congregation singing this song when I get back to leading worship. It spoke to me in a fresh way on Monday and today. I would encourage you to go to YouTube and check it out. I think you will see as I am on this journey and others who are anticipating a miracle from the Father, would find a great testimony in the song. If you listen to it, please put yourself in the context of the song and be reminded of how our Lord is the Almighty, Everpresent Savior.

The song that is playing right now is one that Keli quoted in her blog. “I’m Amazed” paints a picture of our Father dancing and singing over us. Okay, if you don’t know that song, check it out, too (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qVkzdK6N20). Be assured today that our Lord is in the business of doing a marvelous work in all of our lives…so let Him.

In case you can’t tell, my mind is clicking. During these last few months, I must admit that my mind has not always been “running on all cylinders” when it comes to clarity of thought. I don’t know if that is because of all the medicine that I have taken, or maybe it is just what happens when a blond goes bald. Okay, that was funny to me. Anyway, I am thankful for my rediscovered clarity of thought. As I told Pastor Howard and the staff this past Monday, I have never really had a strong immune system my entire life. I went on to say that with my new immune system I expect to have more energy. That actually brought some laughter from the staff. If you know me, you know I am a fairly energetic person. So…all that to say…watch out, Sam is coming back with a new and stronger energy than before. Pastor did ask if that meant I would dance more when leading worship. No worries, Pastor, I will keep my composure.

Linda, my mother-in-law, told me today that she was enjoying sitting outside in the beautiful weather. I am looking forward to spring and enjoying the beauty of nature. I hope wherever you may be you are feeling the warmth of the Spirit. Even though I am stuck inside and can only look at the beautiful blue sky today, my heart and soul are basking in the assurance that the Lord is with me.

Blessings,
Sam

Day +6

It has been a great day! I have to admit that I was really glad the night was over with (due to some faulty IV tubing that made our pump alarm FOREVER) I dreamed that I was awake…or maybe I was for most of the night, and that I was planning on “calling in” to work (but I wasn’t even working today), I also dreamed that somehow the rate on on Sam’s IV pump kept changing all by itself. Needless to say, my sleep was restless, at best. Planning for better tonight!! Sam and I got up by 8:15, because “work” started for him at 9 with a conference call and he wanted breakfast. He was nonstop from 9 with about a 45 minute break for lunch and then…3 more hours of calls. It has been a very good day for him!

He has been able to get his 3rd dose of Methotrexate! Yeah! The doctors are all smiles! Now it is simply a matter of time until we can get him switched to oral medicines (which started today) and then kicked to the curb! Can’t wait!!! Even though his counts are low, what is different this time, is when they start to come up, they should really “COME UP”!!

I have to say that every day here flies by one after the other. There are no “markers”. No routine, except for vital signs and shift changes every few hours….night turns into day,…into night. I am so glad that God created us for more than this. Sam and I have talked so much of how anxious we are to get back to the routine of life and the cadence that it has. Not to the busyness of it, but to the natural rhythms that you miss, like church, getting your kids ready for school, your regular work day, sitting around the dinner table together, even the temperature changes that signal one season changing to the next. I hope in the busyness of what ever you are doing these days that you are not missing what is going on around you. That you are enjoying the journey that you are on, that life is not passing you by in a blur. If you are one of those people that have overextended themselves…(and you know who you are), reconsider your choices, you may not have to do all the things you think you do! I know I have always considered myself more important and than I really am…what the most important thing is, “we are precious in HIS sight!”

I am learning, to simplify, the more complicated stuff that I have on my plate is, the more confused I am and the more frustrated I become. These days…I weed through bills, EOBs, and even all the many demands of scheduling clinic visits and scheduling family time weigh on my mind for after we go home. I am praying for God to grant me perspective and wisdom to put aside the things that are unimportant, so that I can have the time that I need for the things that matter. He is already helping me do it! He will help you to! Consider it “spring cleaning” for your heart and mind. Throw out habits that have you entrenched in mundane busy work that will have you look back on your life singing the words to “Sunrise, Sunset” from “Fiddler on the Roof”…they are pretty sad… Instead find out what new habits, (maybe it is your lenten journey?!) that you need to take on to simplify your life. Maybe that habit is as simple as shutting off the computer or TV at a certain time, or not letting your kids participate in one more sport (because you somehow think you have to do whatever everyone else is doing!?)

Anna-Laura turned 17 yesterday, she actually looked older. In honor of the occasion she wore high heals for me! (thank you Anna-Laura, they were awesome) It really made me think of the words of the song I mentioned…when did she grow to be a beauty,…wasn’t it yesterday that she was small? Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset…swiftley go the years…one season following the other laden with happiness and tears. And then I thought about how often the song had come to me…You dance over me, When I am unaware, You sing all around, but I never hear the sound…Lord I’m amazed by You, Lord I’m amazed by You, Lord I’m amazed by you and how You love me! I know that even though this year has flown (full of emotion, ups and downs,…God continues to sing love songs over HIS beloved children) Don’t miss it!

We love you!!
Blessings
Keli

Day +3…I feel good (James Brown flavor) :)

It is a wonderful Sabbath day and Keli and I are still waiting to see Dr. Berdeja this morning as he is making his rounds. Wow…I haven’t written since the transplant and I am sorry for that. I was so wiped out the day following the transplant and then yesterday I just did not feel cognizant enough to “make sense” on the blog. But not today…today I feel good and my focus is so much better. So…you are stuck with me posting.

I felt so good this morning that I said to Keli, let’s get the room organized; so that is what we did. We cleaned things up and got the room organized like we just moved in. It is amazing how a room becomes your home away from home and how things can get cluttered, but not anymore. Our windows are starting to fill-up with cards and a sweet painting from Christian Greiner. Every time I look out the window I am reminded how much I am loved by friends and I am so thankful for the support I have had along this entire journey. I must add that most of the cards are from Karen and Bill Lowe. Karen (also known as “Sunshine,” a nickname given to her by me) sent a perfect card that said “today was a good day to send sunshine to somebody you love.” It made me laugh out loud when I opened it because it was the perfect card from the perfect person.

I am not as nauseous today and that makes me happier. Nausea has been the only issue I have had while in the hospital, but boy…it can be a beast! I look forward to working through the nausea and for that to be gone. Thankfully, I have felt much better the last 24 hours. Please pray that I will get over my nausea quickly.

Being in the hospital for days at a time gives you time to reflect. My reflections always include the providential grace of God and how I can trace His hand in my life over the last several months. Sometimes I can visualize the Lord at work. Especially when I look back at the times when I felt like I would not get through nausea or when I had the infection in December, I see so clearly how our Lord was there and was at work healing my body. I continue to believe that God is not the grand puppeteer who “caused” me to get leukemia. I know in my heart and mind, however, that after hearing the news of having leukemia and even finding out about the disease before it entered my blood stream, that the hand of God has been and continues to be at work.

I think what is most important is the recognition that God is at work and that all things are working together for His good. It is awesome how many people have become aware of my illness and have had the opportunity to read the testimony of God at work. For me, this blog is simply a way of sharing with my family and friends about my health journey. For others, it is a day-to-day testimony of what God is doing in one man’s life and how he is transforming his heart while touching him physically. Yes, I am referring to the “compassionate presence” that I have talked about numerous times in the past. I still wonder if this is something that others in the community of believers struggle with as we desire to reach out in love and compassion to people in tragedy, but don’t know exactly what to do. I have noticed in my own life these last few months that it has been so much easier for me to make a call or send an e-mail or talk face-to-face with someone who is walking through their own struggle. Again, it is not rocket science on what we do for others, but I pray I will do it consistently and with the right intentions. As you can see, I am still learning. Enough babbling for now.

Thank you for your love. Thank you for your continued prayers. Be reminded on this Sabbath day that our Lord loves us so much and wants us to embrace life in every way. Let us all be salt and light to those around us.

Blessings,
Sam

Day + 1

Sam slept like a baby! He woke up with a headache. He is not one who has many headaches (unlike me who has many migraines). They never give him Tylenol, for fear of masking a fever, they just go for the big guns…the narcotics! So Sam slept like a baby part of the day too! He doesn’t have a headache any more!! The headache is a reaction to the preservative that the cells are stored in, sooo… it was not a surprise to our doctor. Dr Berdeja continues to be pleased with Sam’s progress! He is all smiles and encouragement when he comes in.

It is important for Sam to get doses of a specific medicine on day +3, +6, and day +11. In order for him to receive these doses of medicine, Sam cannot get mouth sores. Please pray that he does not develop this very common complication! Sam is doing his part to prevent them, but sometimes they still occur. Sam still has some nausea, this is to be expected, as his counts are dropping and will continue to do so for the next 2-3 days. Pray that we are able to keep his nausea under control and that he will eat his little snacks! He is doing really well so far. The nutritionist is proud of him! (amazingly he ate hot wings last night….but today he has had a milkshake and a pop-sickle). It is crazy the things he craves!! Sam is still doing his walking just a little slower today. I expect that tomorrow he will be feeling even better than today, as the preservative is washed out of his body! (hope so)

Thank you so much for all of your many prayers yesterday, and for those who formed prayer-meetings at work, friends, family, friends on facebook, and for those who fasted. You are all such a blessing to us. I was able to read the names of the list on facebook to Sam. It made him so happy last night, and amazed!

We love you all!
Blessings!
Keli

Houston….we have lift off!

I am sure there is nothing more beautiful for all of those NASA engineers and especially for the astronauts themselves than the moment counting down before lift off, when they have been cleared, all systems “GO”. The countdown begins …10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I have watched as those rockets have ignited and billows of smoke and fire launch men and women thousands of miles into orbit, carrying with them not only months of work and checks and balances, but also the hopes and dreams of their youth and the hopes and dreams of thousands of starry eyed children that want to walk in their shoes.

I am sure our count down was not quite as spectacular this morning. It has taken months of planning, a million checks, tests, steps back, leaps forward. As the countdown began last thursday, (T-7, T-6, T- 5 and so on until today which is day 0) there has been a growing anticipation from everyone starting with our EVS ladies Karen and Anna, that clean our room, to nursing staff, to the Nurse Practitioners and Doctors. Our church family keeps in close contact, wanting to know the moment it is “lift off time”…and of course our wonderful families have been ever present at our side, either physically, or with frequent phone calls and texts. Every one has felt the mounting excitement of this moment we have all been praying for and anticipating over these last months! There are also many hopes and dreams riding for the future for this transplant!

IT ARRIVED AT 0959 …This is Sam’s second birthday!! Nurses celebrated the moment while pushing the first cells in while singing “happy birthday”! The first bag was followed by 2 more, and the whole thing was finished by @1025. By day 10 to 14 the cells will migrate into the bone marrow and ingraft….amazing! The theme for the day is “It’s a boy!” Sam has a “Crib card” with time of birth, weight, length in inches and we put down that his nurse practitioner is now his OB and that Dr Berdeja is now his Pediatrician. They laughed so much when they saw his decor! We even did Sam’s foot print in model magic! Dr Berdeja even said that babies sleep alot for the first 24 hours, so not to worry if Sam was sleepy today! Don’t you love it! He is such a great Dr for us!!

Sam is sleeping now. Just like he is supposed to do! We will expect that friends and family will drop by after lunch this afternoon. Sam should be more awake after the 2 O-clock hour. If not….I will be! We are just so thankful that all is well. God is so faithful!

Thank you for your faithful prayers and for those who are fasting today, thank you for your sacrifice on Sam’s behalf. Bless you.

We love you!
Blessings
Sam and Keli

I feel like NASA….

We are sooooo on the countdown!!! In less than 24 hours the great transformation will have begun! Call me crazy, but I can’t wait! It is everything we have waited for and worked towards! It will also provide Sam with a healthy immune system with which to recover counts and to recover from this round of chemo! I know that God has watched over Sam and will continue to do this throughout every moment of this process! I know that your prayers are making an impact on the process as well! Thank you!

Last night was a great night of rest, and this morning came early with visits from Doctors and Nurses,…followed by the remodeling of the second floor of the Sarah Cannon Center. Nothing like jack hammering at 0700! Good morning! So, despite a desire to sleep in ( which we tried to do twice) we finally gave up around 0800, so I went out in search of good coffee, instead of the standard “nurse fare”, and pancakes for Sam. He had a conference call while I was gone, that continued through breakfast,…he continues to be busy! Working is such a welcome blessing! We are both so thankful for our jobs! The morning has continued on steadily with very little to do, but wait! So here we are!! Hurrying up …and waiting! The news though, is good! The wait, is worth it!

Thank you again for your continued compassionate presence with us throughout our journey! We will be anxious to let you know about tomorrow…! It will probably be me! Sam will be sedated most heavily! I know you would love to have him write instead…he is such fun when he writes “under the influence”. We will wait and see!

Until then!!
Blessings
Keli