day 18…

My papers are signed…I am officially on leave to be at Sam’s “call” 24/7 for the next  6 weeks.  After that we will see what arrangements have to be made for the rest of the 100 days following transplant.  I will actually be off through day 63 I think…some patients are released (on good behavior) back to their doctors on or around day 75…maybe we will be one of those patients!

Sam’s ANC count doubled overnight…this is the count that gives him immunity.  It is also one that will make him feel better.  It is nothing to write home about, if you or I were to have it…but in Sam’s case it is awesome and wonderful!!  We have never had it jump like that.  Usually it takes forever for it to rise at all.  The doctor thinks that it should make his throat feel better over the next couple of days!  I can’t wait!  I can even see a difference since this morning. We have already taken two walks around the unit.  (Yesterday  we only walked 10 laps…it was a rough day!)  Now Sam is taking a nap.  I think we should all take naps more often…they seem to do him a world of good (would do most of us a world of good)

Continue to pray that we are able to go home on Friday!  We are very anxious to do so!  Pray that Sam’s throat will continue to be healed.  Pray that Sam will be able to take his medicine by mouth and be able to be taken off all of these IV fluids … Pray that he is safe from any infection or mistake.

We love and miss you all, and are thankful for your comments and prayers and cards!  You are such a source of encouragement to our family!

Blessings!

Keli

day 17…we needed a sign

Last night as I layed in bed I prayed for a sign.  Sam had a rough day.  Eating or drinking anything caused him such pain and he even complained of some nausea. At 4 am our nurse asked if we could wake up enough to hear some good news?  You betcha!!!  She preceded to tell us that Sam’s counts had made a little jump.  Just the encouragement that we needed.

News like that, will help us get through the next few days of healing knowing that we have turned the corner!  Sam already feels some better this morning.  (throat still hurts, but he seems stronger and is not having to hit the pca pump as often).  Thank you for praying for us, God is doing great work, it is very evident!

We are praying that you are rejoicing as you worship today in your services.  We are anxious to be with you!

Blessings

Keli and Sam

day 15…oh what a day!

Dr Berdeja told Sam that they didn’t mention this part of recovery at the first of your treatment because it was not any fun. ( wonder what part was supposed to be fun?)   Wow…what a day!  Sam continues to have a really sore throat and the mouth pain was pretty unbearable.  Fortunately, there are good pain management tools available.  A pca pump was soon at the bed side and we are back in business with hopes that Sam will continue to eat (which he has),  and that his counts will soon rise (they were up a little this morning!).

Pray that the night brings rest and the morning brings renewed strength and better counts!  We are off for a walk.  There is no rest for the weary.  Even though his throat hurts and he doesn’t feel like walking…he has to…because he has to keep those lungs healthy!  I am so proud of him!

Blessings

Keli

hello out there…Day 14 is almost over!

I can’t believe we are almost at day 15!  I would like to say that time flies when you are having fun…it would not exactly be the truth!  I will say that time does go pretty quickly…but there is not a whole lot of fun to be had!!  Trish has now been our nurse for 15 days straight and is going for her all time record of  18  which she will achieve on Sunday!!  It is a tremendous blessing to have had the same nurse for this amount of time!!  She is so “peppy” and adds spunk to our life!

We are anxious for Sam’s counts to come up…which they will when the new stem cells find their way into the bone marrow…today we made the team of Doctors and Nurses guess which day that it would happen.  Dr Berdeja said Tuesday, Cheryl, our NNP, said Monday, Trish said Sunday, and the charge nurse, Meredith said Wednesday…We are voting for Trish to be right!!  They are a fun group when they come in and are so encouraging about how well Sam is doing…let me tell you though…this mucousitis stuff is not for sissy’s!!  Sam has not wanted to eat…but has to and has had quite alot of pain.  This will not get better until he ingrafts…so he needs to do that real soon ( tomorrow would be nice)!  Pray that his throat won’t hurt so badly and that he will have more appetite tomorrow and that those cells will find their way!!

Amazingly Sam feels good other than that ( and looks great as well).  We continue to walk the halls…threatening to walk on out to the park!  We are anxious for the day that we will be walking down the hall for the last time, and believe that it will come soon!

The girls are in Oklahoma.  They are celebrating Jake and Brittany’s wedding this weekend!  It is such an exciting time!  Lizz, our other niece, and Joel, the guy she has been dating and the one who is responsible for setting up this blog and all around good guy…..got engaged this week!  Sam and I are so excited!  Lizz is very special to us…there has been much excitement and more than a few phone calls and texts this week!  It is good to plan for the future!

Thank you again for the way that you continue to uphold us in prayer.  We truly feel the way we are supported by all of you.

We love you and are anxious to be with all of you!

Keli and Sam

Day +11…the final dose :)

All of our prayers were answered this morning as I was able to take my fourth and final dose of the medicine that will aid in the ingrafting process.  Praise the Lord!  To Him be all glory!

It has been a big day.  Keli took the girls to the airport this morning as they will be spending the next two weeks in Oklahoma with their grandparents.  It is a special time because their cousin, Brittany, gets married this weekend.  Fortunately, Walt and Linda were on the same flight as the girls, so that was nice for them to be accompanied by their grandparents.  I am so thankful to Walt and Linda for spending the last few weeks here to take care of the girls.

I have a small mouth sore under my tongue, so I feel like I am talking funny and it hurts a little when I do speak.  A pain pill this afternoon did help with that, however, so I took another one tonight.  Yes, I am currently blogging on drugs.  But, i don’t think I am writing anything too stupid.

The ingrafting should actually start in the next few days.  We will now be looking for rashes and other signs of ingrafting.  It is important that I have some GVHD (graft versus host disease).  Please pray that I will have just the right amount and that I do not become real sick in the coming days.  We continue to trust in the Lord day-by-day, so our trust is no different than before.  I just wanted to let you know what the coming days hold.

Keli and I are so ready to go home. DUH!  :)  It has been a good hospital stay, but our thoughts are of being home and in our own surroundings.  I am glad the girls will be with family the next couple weeks.  If nothing else, it will be a good distraction of being out of town during spring break.

I continue to covet your prayers.  The Lord is answering them daily and I give Him all the glory for where I am in my health journey.  The two key words that always come to mind are “hope” and “trust.”  They are both in our Father and He is extending His grace in so many ways.

Blessings,

Sam

Day +10…Sunday afternoon

It is a beautiful Sunday afternoon in Nashville.  The day has gone pretty fast, especially since Keli is working.  I have already walked two miles and am using my salt and soda rinse about once an hour.  Pray that my mouth will stay healthy for the next 24 hours so I can take a final dose of medicine that helps in the healing process.  My mouth is pretty sensitive right now, so that is why I am doing frequent rinsings.

My counts are bottomed out and have been for the last three days.  I am receiving two units of blood today because my hemoglobin count went down.  Every day is still a new day and I am hoping that my counts start going up soon.

Mom said that the church service was wonderful today.  I can’t wait to be back in church and worshiping with my church family.  The absence from church has been one of the hardest things about being sick.  I am thankful for such a wonderful community of believers.

I don’t really have much to share today.  Right now it is just a matter of time before counts start going up and I start feeling better.  I am ready for that to happen.  :)

Blessings,

Sam

Pictures for you to enjoy

Keli showed me the pictures tonight of the stem cell transplant. I thought you may enjoy seeing the three steps: 1. The bag of stem cells arriving in the room (I received a total of three bags). 2. Kate actually putting the stem cells in by the use of a big syringe. 3. Sam medicated after the transplant.  :)

I should have put these on earlier, but I forgot Keli took any pictures.

Enjoy!

Sam

Day +8…a beautiful day

It is a gorgeous day in Nashville. The sun is shining bright and the skies are dark blue. Keli left a little while ago to go with her parents to the Lawn and Garden show. That is something Keli and I have enjoyed many times over the last 19 years. I think she is going to take some pictures, so maybe I will see what she would like for me to do in the yard summer 2011. This is a year of no yard work, but that too shall pass. Landscaping is one of my favorite hobbies, so it will difficult to sit back and not do anything this spring and summer. I will enjoy watching the trees bud and all the plants put on new growth.

What a wonderful time to have a new beginning…spring. Spring demonstrates to me that for a season nature has taken a break. Plants have deepened their roots. Some animals hibernate. People have stayed inside during the winter months. But…spring…spring brings out the flowers and leaves. It awakens the sleeping animals. It is a time of new beginnings all caught up in the cycle of life.

I have had a winter season for sure. But…spring has come in my own life and I am experiencing a rejuvenated approach to life. I have deepened my roots in Christ as I have truly become utterly dependent on him in action and not just words. I have deepened my roots in my own understanding of who I am and what I am called to do…to serve others for the glory of God. I have come to realize how temporary this thing is that we call life. I am learning to live life to its fullest everyday. That means not just when I am doing something I enjoy like golfing, fishing, or landscaping. The changes I am seeing in myself are a deepening in the awareness that in everything we do and say, we do it for the glory of God. I love this new perspective. Okay, I know many of you came to this realization years ago, but it is new for me. There is a settling of my emotional spirit that takes place when I look at everything as being fresh and new. Every single day then becomes a day of new opportunities and not a day of drudgery (as it might relate for some in going to work or looking at life as mundane).

Some of you might read this and think, “he’s been in the hospital too long and things will be different when he is back to normal.” I pray that is not the case. To believe in the transforming power of the Spirit of God is to understand that as He lights our way and teaches us new things, we in turn change our behavior and actions to reflect the lessons He has taught us. I believe in transformation and I embrace what the Father is doing in my life. As an example, when I view life in this manner, it is very difficult to get upset at people for the trivial things that might irritate us. In other words, transformation into Christlikeness is a calming of the soul and I believe a tolerance to those who have not yet seen the light. That is not to be a judgmental statement nor am I being pious, but one that simply speaks to the heart to know that everyone is on a journey with the Lord. Some reject Him and choose their own paths. Some accept Him and are at different markers along their own journey. Okay, I am sounding more like a preacher. Maybe Steve’s DNA is kicking in. All I know is that we should love one another as Christ loves us. Amen.

I trust you will have a great weekend. I hope you are able to enjoy time with your family and friends and that you truly have a sabbath this weekend. Thank you for your continued prayers. God is not manipulated by anything we can say or do, but I know He is hearing your prayers for me and is answering them in powerful ways. Pray that I will not get any mouth sores before Monday. My mouth is a little tender and I am taking all precautions to avoid getting mouth sores. Monday will be day 11 and the final dose of one of the medicines my doctor desires that I take. I have had 3 doses, but it will be beneficial for recovery for me to have the fourth and final on Monday.

Blessings,
Sam

Day +7…what a life…what a wife!

I just finished reading Keli’s post from yesterday and was reminded once again how much I love this woman. She is a rock to me when I feel like everything is chaos. The Lord uses her daily to encourage me and inspire me to remain positive and optimistic. I just had to start this post by saying “I love you” to the dearest person in my life…Keli. By the way, it’s not fair when your wife makes you cry when you are just trying to read a blog.

It was time to change the theme of the blog site. Welcome to the new and improved look. I like the symbolism of the color palette. I hope you do, too.

Today has been a good day. Actually, this week has been a good week. Besides some stomach issues, I have felt great. I think Steve’s stem cells are energizing me. Thank you, big brother! I have done productive work as well as getting in my walking and all the things the doctor would have me do while in the hospital. I saw Dr. Berdeja when I was walking my second mile this afternoon. I let him know that I am ready to get out of this place and do my walking at home. I think he liked that.

Keli is working today, so I have been alone, except when mom came and visited and brought me lunch. See, mothers can still spoil their babies. I always enjoy my time with mom. She is such a godly woman and loves her boys and family so much. She is a great role model for me as a parent.

Well, my laps have consisted of listening to Christian contemporary music. I am not sure if the nurses ever see my crying on my walk, but I tell you, I have some wonderful moments with our Savior. I told Pastor Howard about a song that I heard on Monday before the church staff came to visit me. That same song was the second song I listened to today. It is a Chris Tomlin song, “Famous One,” I am already anticipating the Hermitage congregation singing this song when I get back to leading worship. It spoke to me in a fresh way on Monday and today. I would encourage you to go to YouTube and check it out. I think you will see as I am on this journey and others who are anticipating a miracle from the Father, would find a great testimony in the song. If you listen to it, please put yourself in the context of the song and be reminded of how our Lord is the Almighty, Everpresent Savior.

The song that is playing right now is one that Keli quoted in her blog. “I’m Amazed” paints a picture of our Father dancing and singing over us. Okay, if you don’t know that song, check it out, too (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qVkzdK6N20). Be assured today that our Lord is in the business of doing a marvelous work in all of our lives…so let Him.

In case you can’t tell, my mind is clicking. During these last few months, I must admit that my mind has not always been “running on all cylinders” when it comes to clarity of thought. I don’t know if that is because of all the medicine that I have taken, or maybe it is just what happens when a blond goes bald. Okay, that was funny to me. Anyway, I am thankful for my rediscovered clarity of thought. As I told Pastor Howard and the staff this past Monday, I have never really had a strong immune system my entire life. I went on to say that with my new immune system I expect to have more energy. That actually brought some laughter from the staff. If you know me, you know I am a fairly energetic person. So…all that to say…watch out, Sam is coming back with a new and stronger energy than before. Pastor did ask if that meant I would dance more when leading worship. No worries, Pastor, I will keep my composure.

Linda, my mother-in-law, told me today that she was enjoying sitting outside in the beautiful weather. I am looking forward to spring and enjoying the beauty of nature. I hope wherever you may be you are feeling the warmth of the Spirit. Even though I am stuck inside and can only look at the beautiful blue sky today, my heart and soul are basking in the assurance that the Lord is with me.

Blessings,
Sam

Day +6

It has been a great day! I have to admit that I was really glad the night was over with (due to some faulty IV tubing that made our pump alarm FOREVER) I dreamed that I was awake…or maybe I was for most of the night, and that I was planning on “calling in” to work (but I wasn’t even working today), I also dreamed that somehow the rate on on Sam’s IV pump kept changing all by itself. Needless to say, my sleep was restless, at best. Planning for better tonight!! Sam and I got up by 8:15, because “work” started for him at 9 with a conference call and he wanted breakfast. He was nonstop from 9 with about a 45 minute break for lunch and then…3 more hours of calls. It has been a very good day for him!

He has been able to get his 3rd dose of Methotrexate! Yeah! The doctors are all smiles! Now it is simply a matter of time until we can get him switched to oral medicines (which started today) and then kicked to the curb! Can’t wait!!! Even though his counts are low, what is different this time, is when they start to come up, they should really “COME UP”!!

I have to say that every day here flies by one after the other. There are no “markers”. No routine, except for vital signs and shift changes every few hours….night turns into day,…into night. I am so glad that God created us for more than this. Sam and I have talked so much of how anxious we are to get back to the routine of life and the cadence that it has. Not to the busyness of it, but to the natural rhythms that you miss, like church, getting your kids ready for school, your regular work day, sitting around the dinner table together, even the temperature changes that signal one season changing to the next. I hope in the busyness of what ever you are doing these days that you are not missing what is going on around you. That you are enjoying the journey that you are on, that life is not passing you by in a blur. If you are one of those people that have overextended themselves…(and you know who you are), reconsider your choices, you may not have to do all the things you think you do! I know I have always considered myself more important and than I really am…what the most important thing is, “we are precious in HIS sight!”

I am learning, to simplify, the more complicated stuff that I have on my plate is, the more confused I am and the more frustrated I become. These days…I weed through bills, EOBs, and even all the many demands of scheduling clinic visits and scheduling family time weigh on my mind for after we go home. I am praying for God to grant me perspective and wisdom to put aside the things that are unimportant, so that I can have the time that I need for the things that matter. He is already helping me do it! He will help you to! Consider it “spring cleaning” for your heart and mind. Throw out habits that have you entrenched in mundane busy work that will have you look back on your life singing the words to “Sunrise, Sunset” from “Fiddler on the Roof”…they are pretty sad… Instead find out what new habits, (maybe it is your lenten journey?!) that you need to take on to simplify your life. Maybe that habit is as simple as shutting off the computer or TV at a certain time, or not letting your kids participate in one more sport (because you somehow think you have to do whatever everyone else is doing!?)

Anna-Laura turned 17 yesterday, she actually looked older. In honor of the occasion she wore high heals for me! (thank you Anna-Laura, they were awesome) It really made me think of the words of the song I mentioned…when did she grow to be a beauty,…wasn’t it yesterday that she was small? Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset…swiftley go the years…one season following the other laden with happiness and tears. And then I thought about how often the song had come to me…You dance over me, When I am unaware, You sing all around, but I never hear the sound…Lord I’m amazed by You, Lord I’m amazed by You, Lord I’m amazed by you and how You love me! I know that even though this year has flown (full of emotion, ups and downs,…God continues to sing love songs over HIS beloved children) Don’t miss it!

We love you!!
Blessings
Keli